Don't Compare

I haven't cried in about two weeks! After five months living in Peru, it appears I may have finally made it over the hump. Kiko and I were walking the dogs and I was making my usual observations and running commentary. If you know me at all, you know that I have a critical eye, a "hawkeye", if you will. I used to have a proofreading/editing business to utilize that special talent. But having a critical eye can backfire when the negative is all you see. I was pointing out to Kiko that even though we live in a pretty nice neighborhood, it's full of graffiti, dirty buildings with peeling paint, chipped concrete steps and broken sidewalks. He asked me why I focus on those things? Well, it's what I do, because from there I try to analyze WHY things are the way they are. And then my very smart husband said, "This is a developing country. You can't compare it with the U.S., and if you continue to do so, you'll continue to be unhappy here."

Wow.

Well I didn't act like "wow" when he told me, I waited until later, when I was alone and had a chance to process what he said. And after some analysis, I determined that he was right. I haven't told him that either, he's going to find out when he reads this post. But it makes complete sense. The so-called negative things that I tend to notice would be quaint and interesting and different if I was just visiting a place, but since I was now living among the things I judged to be "bad", I saw things differently. I'm not a risk-taker. I don't like to gamble unless it's with fake money or M&M'S, and I have no desire to jump out of a plane. I'm an only child, I could stay inside my house, reading and listening to the rain for days. I do love to travel, and experience new things - I need variety. But traveling with a return ticket is completely different from living in another country. I honestly have had five months of ups and downs, with the downs including depression, anxiety, loneliness, sadness. It's not easy to up and move across the globe, leaving your home, family, friends, and church behind...basically everything you know. I've always known that living in Peru would be an adventure as well as an opportunity, but I think I made it harder than it had to be. I was focused on the negative, comparing and contrasting everything here with everything in the U.S. I had happy moments, but I wasn't happy. But I get it now, it's all about perspective, and attitude.

Anyhoo, I must say that things have been better since I changed my perspective and made an attitude adjustment. That, and meeting new people. I joined a meet-up group at about the same time as my transformation. Many members of the group are Peruvians who lived in the U.S. and have returned to Peru, like my husband. Most speak both English and Spanish, and have experienced both countries in a way that I can relate to. They are all really nice, and it's been fun getting to know them at a rum tasting, reggae night, and cocktail party. And I'm meeting new friends through an expat site on Facebook, and getting to know more of Kiko's cousins and a niece. Of course I really miss everyone back home, but I'm so grateful and excited to get out there and make connections with people in Lima, where I currently live. Which brings me back full circle to Kiko, who started it all. 

Thanks for the adventure, the opportunity, and the coaching lesson Kiko. You are beyond compare =)